I wrote about this before, albeit briefly, but it's still frustrating me to no end so I shall write about it some more!
I'm tired of being called a "bad feminist," or a "fake feminist," because of the decisions I make and the insecurities I feel as a woman and as a human being. This time people criticized me for planning to wear a sexy outfit for Halloween. First I said I'm going to be sexy jellyfish, which I am, it's a plan I've had for months - to me it's more funny, almost satirical, than a strict adherence to a patriarchal norm - but not everyone saw it that way. They really didn't like it when I even suggested an even "sluttier" Halloween costume, something I wasn't really planning on doing but I thought the idea, the play on words, was pretty funny. No no, I'm a bad feminist for being sexy on Halloween.
It's not as though I'm doing this as any sort of real statement. I'm just having fun. I don't think that everything I do has to be some big feminist action, I don't have to "stick it to the man" every second of every day, it would be exhausting as hell to even try. Sometimes I do wear high heels, I wear sexy panties, I wear pushup bras, I wear makeup, I go through extensive skincare routines trying to make my face look more human and less like the surface of some undiscovered planet. I don't do all of those things all the time, but I don't make a point of keeping such "tools of oppression" at arm's length. There are some things I won't touch, like Cosmo - I might pick up a friend's copy if a cover story really interests me or I'm just really bored, but I can't remember the last time I bought that magazine, or one like it, with the intention of actually reading it instead of cutting it up to make a collage. There are also things I avoided, TV shows like Mad Men and Big Love, then I caved and got addicted to them, knowing that they weren't entirely feminist TV shows but loving them anyway.
I could list a whole lot of things I do, and things I have done, that don't qualify as "feminist" actions. And to me, that's okay. I don't kid myself into thinking that those are empowered choices, because I know they're not, but I don't think they make me the anti-feminist or a "bad feminist" either. Again, not everything I do has to be a statement. I pick my battles, I guess.
The problem is that society has this view of what a feminist is, what a feminist believes (and this assumption goes beyond a belief in gender equality), what a feminist is supposed to love and hate, what a feminist wears, what a feminist eats, how a feminist dates, how a feminist feels about herself - and when a woman who declares herself to be a feminist strays outside the boundaries of that stereotype, she runs the risk of being attacked as a poser or a hypocrite, mostly by non-feminists who know little about what real feminism is. Now, there are some women who really are "fake feminists" like Sarah Palin, but I don't think that choosing to show my knees and cleavage on Halloween (le gasp!) puts me on the same level as her.
Now, when this happens, when I am attacked like that, I know a "good feminist" would defend herself, and take the time to argue and debate and tell people to back the fuck off when all else fails, but I don't always have the energy or the time - I'm a college student, people, my days consist of class, club meetings, homework, errands, trying to stay on top of the housework, and usually falling short in one or more area because I'M NOT SUPERWOMAN; I'm running on chemicals I know are bad for me and will probably make me sick (nothing illegal), but I don't have time to get enough sleep, so excuse me if engaging in a heated, intelligent debate on gender issues isn't always at the top of my priority list - a lot of the time I just let it go. Walk away. Go do something productive, or relaxing if that person really steamed my clams. It's not always worth it. I have one friend in particular whom I've been butting heads with for years over the topic of feminism, and I know he's probably not going to come around anytime soon. Sometimes it really is like talking to a wall, you're not going to get through to everyone.
I think this really links back to what I wrote earlier about us being in a complacent lull or a regressive period rather than a wave. The difference here is legitimacy - First and Second Wave Feminism may not have had sweeping public support, but they did have legitimacy in the public eye as a real social movement. Right now, we don't. We're seen as a joke, an unnecessary "movement" that has served its purpose, a bunch of angry women who complain about everything but aren't getting anything done. And you can direct your criticisms about feminism at me all you want, but I can't rev up the feminist movement single-handedly, or at all really. I'm doing some feminist work on my campus but I don't really have the time or resources to fix things beyond that right now. Someone actually accused me of not caring enough about a particular abortion-related bill because it passed and I wasn't able to stop it. The bill wasn't even passed on my state, it was passed in middle America, what did he want me to do, fly over there and storm the legislature? By myself? I am one very tiny human being with little influence, what do people expect me to do? Excuse me if I haven't changed the world at 22, to do so would be a remarkable, if not completely unrealistic feat. I want to change things for the better, that's why I'm going to school, but give me some time and stop jumping on me when I fail to live up to crazy expectations about what I, as a feminist, am supposed to be doing.
I got a little off topic. This was more of a rant than an intelligent, well-thought out and researched post, I'll admit that. I'm just very, very pissed off these days.
Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
WAM! Boston Film Festival Reflection
Today I attended the Women, Action, and Media (WAM!) Boston Film Festival at MIT, and I gotta say, it was a great way to finish off this year's Women's History Month! I had the pleasure of seeing 4 great documentaries. But first, an invigorating panel on the state of women in the film industry, where it was made clear that women are still not being taken seriously in the film industry (big surprise) and they're mostly confined to certain roles such as planning, gathering crew members, and asking for donations while the men take on most of the technical positions. Since I'm considering a possible career, or at least dabbling, in social activism media or documentary film making, this panel was certainly valuable and inspirational!
The first documentary I got to watch was called Beauty Mark, which was about the "race" to physical perfection. "Race" was a play on words because more than half of it focused on the filmmaker and her personal image and weight issues which were rooted in her athleticism. Not a unique situation. To be honest, it didn't quite live up to my expectations: it was very focused on the filmmaker, her history and her family situation, with less than half examining other aspects of the overall obsession with physical perfection. It did, however, feature some prominent experts, such as Eve Ensler, Naomi Wolf, and the guy who wrote the Obesity Myth whose name has slipped my mind. I've seen better documentaries on the subject, most prominently "America The Beautiful," which may have been made by a man, BUT is an amazing examination of America's obsession with beauty. I'm sorry, but as much as I support women in film, I won't go so far as to favor a mediocre film made by a woman over an exceptional one made by a man, but I will give that his gender may have meant the ability to get more funding and access to resources than if he was a woman.
After "Beauty Mark" was a short film called "Weightless," which was about overweight women who scuba dive. I know that sounds kinda lame, but it was pretty cool. This film had the audacity to feature women who, rather than cry about their weight and go to extreme measures to be skinny - felt awesome about themselves and found something awesome to do with their bodies regardless of size. In a Q&A with the filmmaker, it was revealed that the documentary was going to be a longer film about heavy women doing lots of awesome things and feeling great about themselves. While the movie itself wasn't all that exciting, it was certainly inspiring.
The third documentary was a gem from the Media Education Foundation called "The Gloucester 18." It was about the spike in teen pregnancy some years ago in Gloucester, MA, and the truth behind it. The film debunked the myth that there was a pact, clarified that one third of the pregnancies did not make it to term (though it was unclear if they were aborted or miscarried), and revealed some dark details about the girls' lives. It was incredibly eye opening about the issue of teenage pregnancy, highlighting the causes of it and the reasons why some girls get pregnant on purpose. It also shines a light on the realities of teen pregnancy, both in Gloucester and in nearby towns such as Springfield and Lowell. I highly recommend this one, and I was glad to be able to see it since it's one of the MEF movies I'd wanted to see for a while.
We were then given an hour for dinner. However, MIT must have been on spring break because it was next to impossible to find a restaurant or fast food establishment on or near the campus. Most of the places that were open were sit-down places, like Legal Seafoods. Being alone, I just wanted to grab some cheap food, eat, maybe walk around for a bit, and then return to the Stata Center on time for the last film, "Someone Sang for Me."
"Someone Sang For Me" was like Freedom Writers meets Glee - if Will Schuster was a kickass African American woman. It was about a school in Springfield that was suffering major budget cuts, and a woman started an after-school singing program for the students. The kids mostly sang songs they wrote together, which were songs about the struggles they faced growing up in an impoverished area, facing racism and classism. The film highlighted the power of music on kids' lives, and it was a great way to end the festival.
Sadly, because some events and films were run simultaneously, I was only able to catch about half of the presentations of the day. However, I'm happy with the choices I made, and I'm glad I chose to attend the event.
The first documentary I got to watch was called Beauty Mark, which was about the "race" to physical perfection. "Race" was a play on words because more than half of it focused on the filmmaker and her personal image and weight issues which were rooted in her athleticism. Not a unique situation. To be honest, it didn't quite live up to my expectations: it was very focused on the filmmaker, her history and her family situation, with less than half examining other aspects of the overall obsession with physical perfection. It did, however, feature some prominent experts, such as Eve Ensler, Naomi Wolf, and the guy who wrote the Obesity Myth whose name has slipped my mind. I've seen better documentaries on the subject, most prominently "America The Beautiful," which may have been made by a man, BUT is an amazing examination of America's obsession with beauty. I'm sorry, but as much as I support women in film, I won't go so far as to favor a mediocre film made by a woman over an exceptional one made by a man, but I will give that his gender may have meant the ability to get more funding and access to resources than if he was a woman.
After "Beauty Mark" was a short film called "Weightless," which was about overweight women who scuba dive. I know that sounds kinda lame, but it was pretty cool. This film had the audacity to feature women who, rather than cry about their weight and go to extreme measures to be skinny - felt awesome about themselves and found something awesome to do with their bodies regardless of size. In a Q&A with the filmmaker, it was revealed that the documentary was going to be a longer film about heavy women doing lots of awesome things and feeling great about themselves. While the movie itself wasn't all that exciting, it was certainly inspiring.
The third documentary was a gem from the Media Education Foundation called "The Gloucester 18." It was about the spike in teen pregnancy some years ago in Gloucester, MA, and the truth behind it. The film debunked the myth that there was a pact, clarified that one third of the pregnancies did not make it to term (though it was unclear if they were aborted or miscarried), and revealed some dark details about the girls' lives. It was incredibly eye opening about the issue of teenage pregnancy, highlighting the causes of it and the reasons why some girls get pregnant on purpose. It also shines a light on the realities of teen pregnancy, both in Gloucester and in nearby towns such as Springfield and Lowell. I highly recommend this one, and I was glad to be able to see it since it's one of the MEF movies I'd wanted to see for a while.
We were then given an hour for dinner. However, MIT must have been on spring break because it was next to impossible to find a restaurant or fast food establishment on or near the campus. Most of the places that were open were sit-down places, like Legal Seafoods. Being alone, I just wanted to grab some cheap food, eat, maybe walk around for a bit, and then return to the Stata Center on time for the last film, "Someone Sang for Me."
"Someone Sang For Me" was like Freedom Writers meets Glee - if Will Schuster was a kickass African American woman. It was about a school in Springfield that was suffering major budget cuts, and a woman started an after-school singing program for the students. The kids mostly sang songs they wrote together, which were songs about the struggles they faced growing up in an impoverished area, facing racism and classism. The film highlighted the power of music on kids' lives, and it was a great way to end the festival.
Sadly, because some events and films were run simultaneously, I was only able to catch about half of the presentations of the day. However, I'm happy with the choices I made, and I'm glad I chose to attend the event.
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