Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Stop telling me what to do with my hair

Sometimes I think curly hair is adorable and express interest in curly hair. I'm met with a condescending chuckle or frustrated sigh and someone ranting about how us girls always want what we don't have when it comes to hair. Maybe that's true, but my occasional interest in curls or a demi-permanent shade of red is nothing compared to other people telling me how my hair should look.

Not magazines, mind you. People. People I know. Friends, family, boyfriends, etc.

When I had bangs, people told me I should grow them out. I did eventually grow them out, tired of dealing with them, but a few years after they'd grown out, people started telling me I should get bangs again. Despite me telling them I hate the way I looked with bangs and hated even more the way I looked while growing them out, the encouragement to get bangs was incessant for years.

When I mostly wore my hair down, my friends kept telling me I would look cute with my hair up. I eventually had to do just that for dance and cheerleading, and then got into the habit of frequently putting my hair up. But then, when that became a habit, people were suddenly telling me I would look so much better if I wore my hair down.

When my hair was long, people kept telling me I should get it cut short. Once they shut the hell up about it and I got into Mad Men and retro hair styles, I decided to experiment with short hair. Sure enough, it does look good on me, but I know that within the next two years people will start telling me I would look so much prettier with long hair. I know it'll happen, I can feel it.

There's a reason why I try to refrain from "helpful suggestions" when people don't ask for it. I know that unsolicited advice when it comes to people's appearance is annoying as hell, and for women, it's often incessant. No matter what you look like or how good you look, there's always one change everyone is sure you should make, and it's almost impossible to shut them up without sounding rude or arrogant.

So cut it out. Seriously. I will do with my appearance as I wish. The more you push me to change it, the more I'll resist.